entries.
17 years...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I was kinda in an emo frenzy the other day. I was... so so... sad. So I kinda decided to go back to writing poems (
Due to the fact, my best guy friend Vicky asked for some) This one is for you too Vicky and the rest of the world~ . I know how you feel.
17 years
Did I seem alive to you?
When I walk up those stairs, did you even notice me?
When I smiled, could you see right through,
Those cracks, that were caused by misery?
Why Do I seem, like I'm living a life not meant for me?
Why does it hurt when I try to smile so differently?
Why won't the rain stop falling down?
Does it want to wash away all those happiness I have found?
17 years of your abuse,
Even if I tried screaming, there would be no use.
For 17 years I've cried myself to sleep,
Dreaming of things that I wish I could be...
I'm sorry that I was not good enough,
Honestly, I'm not sorry at all for what I've become.
Screaming and crying alone made me tough,
I survived through everything you've done.
Broken promises? I'm used to it,
All those lies that tormented my heart.
But I'll still laugh because all those candles are lit,
And I can thread upon this world and I know I'll never walk alone in the dark.
After 17 years, I've realized,
Of all the things I've been denied.
All those love, respect and kindness any child would want,
Maybe it wasn't you who was supposed to give that kind of love from the start.
As I start writing down this last sentence,
I wonder if my existence made any significance.
Maybe not to you, not to them,
But right now, I'm happy at where I stand.
I kinda wrote this on a lonely, rainy night... And yes... I do feel that way. So I wrote this for all those people who feel so effed up and can't find a reason to live. Well... Live for yourself... Don't live for the world. Be happy for this moment.
kimi. @ [Sunday, August 29, 2010]
