entries.
Trust
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Words are like poison. Poison that runs through many veins. It can be twisted, just like most dreams.
Words can be changed and fed into the minds of many. Taking a form, consuming the thoughts of many people. A single thought can form an idea. A
suicidal thought can become visible in the minds of many. In my own mind.
Trust is like a verbal agreement. A place where you think the world you once know will never depart.
Sadly, the trust that I believed in had departed.
I've lost myself in between the bickering and the chattering mouths of many people. My parents had no clue, that I had already fallen into a phase so deep, where nothing seems real anymore. I've cut down many branches, and truthfully the tree that I've built over the years has lost all of its leaves, it won't bear any fruit. it won't grow anymore. No one can change how I am anymore.
I've decided to give up on everything. Who knew that you'd be the one who'd put me underground at 19.
Daddy won't come home anymore. He called me and said that he doesn't want to live here anymore. Mommy decided to leave this house. Today, she dropped me off at home and left. I don't even know where she is. I don't even know where daddy is either.
Prince is dying. My brother is never at home. I have lost all those friends, that I used to call "home". I truthfully have no one. The only thing that puts me at ease, is cutting. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid that if I cut this time, I might not stop. I know I won't stop.
I don't expect anyone to understand. I don't expect anyone to listen to my sob story. I'm probably very self absorbed.
I'm sorry... I said that I wouldn't do it again. But I'm afraid this would be the end of everything.
The end of me.
This is the price of my freedom. Sorry Evonne, Yat, Joyce and Mommy.
kimi. @ [Thursday, April 19, 2012]
